Wow Dirik, what a dramatic story. Your description of the scene – blanket of smoke and the abyss of night is very emotive. A few short sentences with clear less figurative description would help your reader. You have created some lovely imagery. Well done,
Keep writing,
Mrs Clare team100wc
Nagoya, Japan
I really liked your story and that it was descriptive. One thing you need to improve is to be a bit more specific.
Wow Dirik, what a dramatic story. Your description of the scene – blanket of smoke and the abyss of night is very emotive. A few short sentences with clear less figurative description would help your reader. You have created some lovely imagery. Well done,
Keep writing,
Mrs Clare team100wc
Nagoya, Japan